(Reblogged from ruinedchildhood)

Everybody is either cleaning or gardening and I’m feeling like I should do something…

Oh hey, snooker. That’s more fun.

There’s a bossy Polish woman on tv who’s reminding me very much of my friends back in Oxford. After Oxford was on Eastenders and now this, I am desperately feeling the need to get a bus down there.

I think we should rearrange the way we spell words like opposite. Need an example?

You: yo, do you know where the book store is?
Me: yes, it’s poopsite Starbucks.

I think this is the poopsite of a bad idea. I hope none of you poopse.

They know I have a problem sleeping. So when they wake the whole house at 3am and I struggle to get back to sleep, don’t be fucking surprised and cold if I wake at 12pm.








Are you fucking kidding me? Did we all just wake up in 1938?

Really seriously flabbergasted and concerned about this.

This is terrifying and very important.

I thought this would be some sort of extreme shit or parody but 


holy shit 

I started giggling because the sheer horror I felt looking at this meant I either broke down or laughed

This is not okay. Signal boost the shit out of this.



Le Sigh.


(Reblogged from mwiggle)

I haven’t had two McDonald’s meals in one day for a long time.

(Reblogged from lacanopus)

I bought my girlfriend a limestone rock. I know it’s not much, but hope she appreciates the sediment.

Seriously, look at this shit.

Thanks, takeaway menu. I never realised that eating pizza could be so fun.




do you ever just realise you’re almost an adult and you have no money 

It doesn’t change.

is that a money joke

We can pretend that it was, and that I’m extremely clever and witty.

(Reblogged from cybersquart)




Dachshund U.N.

For three weekends, 47 Dachshunds, more commonly known as Sausage Dogs, will attempt to solve the world’s Human Rights issues.”

this was so fucking important

"And they still accomplished more than the actual U.N."

mangodownriver dude….
(Reblogged from reason-is--treason)
(Reblogged from reason-is--treason)

Imagine if Morgan Freeman and Samuel L Jackson got each others roles in Pulp Fiction and Shawshank Redemption?